hellosyam

Are You Shy?？ by N？ria Roca and illustrated by Marta Fabrega.

Lee Jeong-min (28) works for a publishing company. Every Monday morning is an ordeal, because of her apprehension about the regular meeting. It’s not because she lacks ideas to share with her colleagues. “I’m scared of a situation where everybody pays attention to me when I say something. My voice starts shaking and I blush. I forget everything, even what I’m saying. It’s like a disease,” she says.

◆ Social Anxiety

If you feel heat all over your body, your face turns red and heart pounds when you’re speaking in front of others, you might suffer from excessive shyness, which can develop into full-blown social anxiety. These days, aggressive self-expression and argument are regarded as a yardstick of success, so shy people often feel a growing sense of isolation.

However, experts say shyness itself is nothing to worry about. Choi Yoon-sik, a behaviorist from Yonsei University, says, “Every human being has an innate shyness that stems from fear and anxiety.” He adds excessive shyness “gradually disappears when people make efforts to get rid of the spotlight effect or the mistaken belief that others are staring at them.” According to psychiatrist Kim Jong-woo, this obsession is strong in Confucian cultures like Japan and Korea, where the group may sacrifice and humiliate an individual to achieve a group goal.

◆ Shy celebrities

Many celebrities, including U.S. politician Al Gore, talk show queen Barbara Walters, pop singer Sting, actress Jennifer Jason Lee and Princess Diana, used to be shy. So how to conquer excessive shyness? Psychiatrist Kim Jong-woo says, “People don’t need to be ashamed of feeling shy. Shyness works as a social safety device.”

According to Choi Yoon-sik, people who aren’t shy have a high chance to become criminals. “A strong will to overcome it, repeated training by trial and error, careful preparation and information collection will help people overcome excessive shyness.” Choi adds, “There is a so-called 10-year law in social cognition psychology. That means you should accumulate effort and experience for more than 10 years if you want to develop expertise in any sector. Likewise, it takes a long time to overcome shyness.”

People who suffer from excessive shyness need to be objective and take a cool attitude to themselves and others, he advises “Others don’t feel your mistakes and stammering as keenly as you do. Recognize the gap between your reality and the ideal, and make realistic efforts to reduce the gap.”